


I'll be there

by notsonaive



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, in which papa K is not really a good person, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-24
Updated: 2012-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-16 23:00:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsonaive/pseuds/notsonaive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James knows Kendall is going to break, and he'll be there when it happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll be there

James isn't sure what wakes him up, it's well past midnight and he's always been a heavy sleeper- not even Carlos snoring can disturb his sleep. But then he hears the sirens and sees the red _white_ **blue**  lights go past his window. He's got a bad feeling about this - and really, ambulances and police cars are never a good thing, and it's worse if they go together- and  _please God, don't let it be one of my friends, I'm begging you._

He runs outside, doesn't matter that it's late or that his parents are gonna kill him if they find out. This is serious, and he has to make sure that his friends are okay because he doesn't know what he would do if one of his friends got hurt. Carlos or Logan or  _Kendall_ please _please God don't let it be Kendall._

He sees the ambulance parked in front of a house- a house so familiar it could have been his own, and he doesn't know if he can take what he's about to see, but he  _has_ to, so he gets closer until he's just beside the crowd that has been gathering in front of the house, ignoring the whispers of " _They said he attacked his dad"_ and  _"He was such a good boy, how could he do this?"_  He keeps looking for him because  _oh God I can't take this._

And then he sees him. There's blood on his shirt and his eyes are hollow and he's crying and shaking and his mom is too, hugging Katie tightly and whispering in her ear, walking right beside him while he's being led to a car. He's going to say something- _anything_ \- to make him look over, but suddenly his parents are here and they're so caught up they don't even notice whose house this is. They're making him go back home and they scold him because don't you know that it's dangerous to run out in the middle of the night alone, James?

But he doesn't care because he will never forget Kendall,  _Kendall_  who he's never seen so sad and so helpless and  _broken_. And as soon as he can he's going to go back.

And he does, making sure his parents are asleep before slipping out the backdoor and going straight to Kendall's and climbing the tree to get to his window. Because even though Mama Knight knows he does it she's never said anything about it and he's not going to be the one to bring it up in a conversation.

The room is dark and everything is in place. Posters of the Minnesota Wild and Incubus and Taking Back Sunday are on the walls and all the trophies Kendall's ever won are on the shelf and his hockey gear is there too, just behind the door but his hockey stick is missing and isn't it weird? But then again there's nothing normal about tonight because Kendall's in the police station with his mom and Katie and his dad is probably in the hospital and what is he doing here? He shouldn't be here, no when there's no one, but he can't leave because he has to wait for Kendall and make sure he's okay and he's not going to jail and knows that Mrs Knight and Katie are okay, too.

So he sits on the bed,  _his_  bed, and doesn't try to fight it when sleep overtakes him because worrying is so tiring and he knows Kendall will wake him up when he gets here anyway.

When he wakes up the first thing he sees is blonde hair, and then a pair of green eyes, those eyes that keen him awake at night when he lays in bed after he slips out of Kendall's room- climbing out the window, of course- where they've been fooling around  _and they do that a lot._

Kendall doesn't ask what he's doing here, but instead climbs in the bed and curls up beside him one hand on James cheek, the other on his chest. And James doesn't say anything because he knows Kendall doesn't need pity- even though what he feels is not pity, more like sadness for the guy he's in love with, and what he is going through- and he knows he'll tell him what happened when he's ready. _If_ he is  _ever_ ready. But he prepares himself for what he knows - _hopes-_  is coming.

"I didn't...I just...James." Kendall a deep breath, and then continues "I woke up because I heard screaming. And I thought someone was stealing so I grabbed my hockey stick and went down. There weren't any robbers, but he was there and he was drunk and he was beating mom and and he kept screaming at her and I just stood there, I just stood there while he punched her and then I screamed to get his attention away from her, thinking I could take it-I'm almost sixteen I  _had_ to take it if that meant getting him away from mom, and I was going to run but then Katie was at the door and she was still half asleep , James, and...and..." He's crying again and gasping for air and James hugs him tight, kisses his face, his neck, anywhere he can reach, anything to make him feel better.

"He looked at her with this...this  _look_  on his face. He was going to hurt her, his own daughter, he was going to  _do something_  to her and she's only eight James, I couldn't... I'm her big brother. I'm supposed to protect her. I couldn't let anything happen to her." He keeps shaking, fingers curling around the fabric of James shirt and he's ruining it, but James doesn't really mind, not when Kendall is like this. "I hit him with my stick on the head." James knows this is hard, but he's going to be there for Kendall-and Katie and Mrs. Knight, too.

"What's going to happen to you?" and he's praying  _to God, to whatever force that is out there_  that Kendall doesn't go to jail.  _He can't. He can't, I wont let it happen._

"They said they're not going to press charges against me. I didn't do real damage, apparently he just got a concussion from the hit. Mom accused him of beating her and they said I did it in self-defense." He's calmer now, a few tears make their way down his face, but he's not shaking anymore. "They said that I stopped him in time, that he could have.." he shudders when he thinks about it.

"I'm still going to court though, I have to testify against him. They said he's probably going to jail."

They lay in silence for a few minutes, both of them lost in their own worlds but thinking about the same thing.

"I don't know if I can do this." Kendall speaks up suddenly, making James jump. "Everyone is going to talk about it, everyone will  _know_. I won't be able to take the stares, James, and the rumors, and the pity. I don't want everyone to feel pity for me I just want it all to be over." And James knows it's true-in a town as small as this one, no one passes up the chance to gossip. But he knows Kendall. And he knows Kendall is strong.

"Kendall." He's looking at his hands, picking on a loose thread on the comforter. "Kendall, look at me." He's still not looking up. " _Please_ " And that's what makes him look up, he's  _begging_  and he's never done it before. "I know it's hard but I also know that you have to do this, you _will_  do this. Because Kendall is the strongest person I've ever met, ready to take down whoever says a word about me. Or Carlos. Or Logan. And he isn't gonna break, he's going to take this and come back from his ashes stronger than ever, like a phoenix." Kendall smiles softly, it's almost nothing but it's there, and that gives James hope.

"Have you been reading Harry Potter?" Kendall asks.

"Yep."

"Wow, I'm shocked. THE James Diamond knows how to read? Incredible." And James grins because, they're joking now? Really? This is such a change.

"Hey, stop that, Logan made me read the first one and I like them. Got a problem with that?"

"Never thought I'd see the day. But you're not going to turn into a briniac like Logan, right? Because I kinda like my James like he is now."

"Nope, even 'The boy who lived' cant keep me away from my mirror."

"Okay, but shut up now. I'm tired. I wanna sleep."

"Fine, I'll go home." He tries to stand up, but Kendall doesn't let him move.

"No, you're staying right here."

"I'll stay, but you're telling my parents tomorrow why I'm not home when they get up."

"Don't worry, you know they love me."

And then there's silence, the only sounds heard are their breathing and the beating of their hearts.

"James?"

"Hmm?" He's almost asleep.

"Thanks. For everything. For being here."

"It was nothing Kendall. I'll always be here." _Always._  Even if it takes a long time for Kendall to heal, to be okay again.

"I love you. You know that, right?"He can hear Kendall's breathing slow down.

"Yeah, I do. And I love you too."

And in that moment James knows they're going to be fine.

 


End file.
